The adolescent son’s awakening is inseparable from his mother’s gaze. In Steven Spielberg’s E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), the divorced, overworked mother, Mary (Dee Wallace), is a benign absence. Her son, Elliott, doesn’t escape her but rather seeks a surrogate (E.T.) to fill the emotional gap left by his father’s departure. In Barry Jenkins’ Moonlight (2016), the mother-son relationship is a tragedy of addiction and love. Paula, played by Naomie Harris, is a crack-addicted mother who both adores and abuses her son, Chiron. Their ferocious reunion scene in the film’s third act—where a now-buff, hardened Chiron visits his skeletal mother in rehab—is one of the most raw and redemptive moments in cinema. She asks for forgiveness, and he gives it, not as a child, but as a man choosing grace.
We cannot escape Euripides’ Medea . When Medea kills her children to wound her unfaithful husband, Jason, she commits the ultimate transgression against the maternal bond. Yet, the play forces us to sit in her agony. It asks: how does a son bear the knowledge that he was used by his mother as a weapon? This ghost haunts every subsequent story of maternal revenge. The adolescent son’s awakening is inseparable from his
The 20th century shattered the archetype. D.H. Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers (1913) is the ur-text of the modern mother-son relationship. Gertrude Morel, a brilliant, frustrated woman, pours all her intellectual and emotional energy into her sons, particularly the artistically inclined Paul. She doesn’t just love him; she colonizes his soul. Paul’s inability to commit to any woman (the sensual Miriam or the independent Clara) is a direct result of his mother’s psychic possession. The novel’s infamous final line—where Paul flees into the “faintly humming, glowing town” after his mother’s death—is not liberation, but a stunned, horrified freedom. Her son, Elliott, doesn’t escape her but rather